It's All Rape in the End - Part II

The last time I was raped was pretty violent. So, you’re probably asking yourself, ‘How many times has she been raped?’ Sad to say, five times. And I thank God I didn’t get pregnant. You’re probably thinking, “What did she have ‘Rape Me’ tattooed on her forehead?” Seems like it, doesn’t it? And I graduated from high school a virgin…only to have my life exist like this.

I had broken up with a man that I had been in a long term relationship with and was supposed to marry. The guy just freaked out! When I told him it was over, he grabbed my neck and started choking me. My five year old son came into the kitchen and began to kick him in the shins. It brought him back to reality and he became conscious of my little boy trying to protect me and he stopped. I thought I was a goner for sure.

He waited until my son had gone to bed…to persuade me to stay with him. What do men think? He held me down and forced himself on me. I laid there like a rag doll, thinking what else is this guy gonna do to me and thought only about protecting my son. I felt so degraded, afraid, and just plain numb.

The next day I immediately went to an attorney to get a restraining order for this guy and then spent two weeks in a domestic shelter for abused women/children, out in the middle of no where in Michigan. I thought two weeks would cool his jets, and the attorney that I gave a few hundred dollars to would have plenty of time to serve him with a restraining order. So I came home one afternoon, pushed the button on my remote garage opener, drove in and I usually immediately close the garage door before I get out of the car, but that day I didn’t. Where was my head??? Well, needless to say the ex-fiancée came running under the garage door as I pushed the wall button to finally close the garage door.
He took me in my house. The crazed look in his eyes sent micro thoughts of, ‘This is it, he’s gonna kill me.’ He was so strong. His face had beads of sweat on his forehead; his eyes looked wild, as he held me close to his face to let me know, ‘If he couldn’t have me, no one else would either.’ That gave me confirmation of my original thoughts.

Right afterward his special words to me, the phone rang (this was before answering machines) and I looked at him with, ‘Okay what do you want me to do now.’ He said, “Go ahead and answer it. But be careful and say anything.”
It was my mother. I thought I spoke normal but mom being mom, knew there was something wrong. She asked me if he was there and I answered ‘yes’ quite nonchalantly. She said has he hurt you? I answered, ‘Looks like it.’ She then said, “Dad and I are on our way.”
When I hung up the phone, he asked me if that was my mother. I told him, ‘yes’ and said their on their way here. Why I stupidly said that was only to have some sort of power over the situation. He lowered his head for a brief moment, then raised it and said, “I really like your parents and I don’t want them to see me like this.” I thought to myself good and good-bye.
Immediately I called that attorney whom I paid good money to and she tells me they were unable to serve him. I told her what happened. I should have asked for my money back with interest, but was totally focused and in survival mode, thinking about my little boy.
I don’t like attorneys or doctors to this day. Too much follow up with them…


Stay Tuned for Part III – The Season Finale